Imposter Syndrome
Self-doubt and personal incompetence can be paralyzing fears that we internalize. Despite education, accomplishments, or experiences sometimes we still think we are lacking, not good enough, or not ready. Although there is no formal diagnosis in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders these feelings can become debilitating. They are often experienced by high achievers, and many suffer in silence.
The perceived notion of “I’m a fraud” holds a lot of people back from being the best they can be. Being held back by these negative thoughts and emotions can look like, “I can’t apply for that job because I’m not good enough,” or “Congratulations on X accomplishment” and your response is “Oh I really didn’t deserve it.” Imposter syndrome can manifest itself in different areas as well. At work, it can look like attributing your success to luck rather than your work ethic and can hold you back from asking for a raise. At school, a student may not speak up in class for fear that everyone including the teacher will perceive him/her as dumb. In a relationship, having feelings of unworthiness that lead to self-sabotage thoughts and behaviors.
Poor self-esteem and past failures are great friends of imposter syndrome, but it can be conquered. Here are some tips on how to kick imposter syndrome to the curb:
Take note of your accomplishments and celebrate them! Reminding yourself of what you’ve accomplished can be helpful especially in those times when self-doubt creeps in. I read somewhere not long ago of a PhD student who kept a folder on their computer of congratulatory emails and positive feedback he’d received from professors. Every time he was having a moment of self-doubt he looked into that folder for affirmations of his success and capability.
Stop comparing yourself to others. We are all on our own journey! Measuring your achievements, where you are in life, what you don’t have in comparison to others is a trap. Remember this is your life and it is unique to you.
Talk to someone about it. Leaning into the support we have around us can be very helpful. Talking to someone who knows you well can serve as reassurance. I’m sure a true friend will see how irrational you are thinking and assure you of your strength. If you feel that you don’t have that support speaking to a therapist can be an immense help. A therapist can help you recognize the feelings associated with imposter syndrome and guide you in learning how to overcome them.
